What I know so far

I’ve only been a mum for eleven weeks but I feel like Philippa has been here forever. Obviously I remember the time before her (hello sleep and hot cups of tea!) but I think that life with her in it is so much more magical than I ever could imagine, even when it’s a bit hard (hello no sleep). I’ve learnt that I am a person who gets ridiculously excited by a “good poo” and that as long as I’ve filled in my eyebrows at some point during the day I can tackle anything’s thrown my way (like baby spews). Plus a few other things listed below.

• You will feel so incredibly skinny after birth only to then come home from hospital and realise that you still look six months pregnant. And you won’t care at all (ok, maybe only a tiny bit but it won’t influence your midnight need for “lactation” oat cookies or frozen cinnamon buns from IKEA).

• Nipple shields are the absolute best. Especially for people with tiny nipples, which I didn’t know I had before I had a baby. But yep, team tiny nipple over here apparently!

• Sleep deprivation is hard but not eating breakfast, lunch and dinner (and cake?) when you’re tired makes the day even harder. Food is essential, not only for Pip but for her mumma too. So breakfast it is, even if that means eating while she’s feeding and accidentally spilling yoghurt on her head. She’ll survive.

• Burping baby really does make a difference.

• The love for your baby will just keep on growing and sometimes you will look at her and wonder how on earth you and your husband created such a masterpiece of a poo machine.

• You will still take showers, but by the end of the day you will smell like you don’t.

• The washing literally will have to wait more times than it doesn’t.

• Mastitis is possibly worse then labour. Ok not really but it’s pretty bloody bad and you will need antibiotics quicker than you think.

• People will LOVE sharing their child rearing philosophies but you do not have to take them to heart. Especially not the old man in the cafe’s who said that “phones are the devil of parenting” as you held your baby and sending a text at the same time. Just brush it off and know you’re doing great.

• That you will want to fit into your pre pregnancy pants after six weeks but trying them on is a bad idea. Remember it takes a long time for your body to get back to its NEW normal.

• All that food you put in the freezer to eat won’t appeal to you at all. You’re done with the carb loading and want veggies (and cake).

• Some days you will feel even closer to you husband and some nights when he’s snoozing next to you while you’re breastfeeding you will wonder why you married a person with such useless nipples.

• Your baby won’t reach the milestones at the same time as other people’s babies and you will worry (and google excessively) only to then look down at her smiling face and realise that she is happy and working on liking her tummy time and that’s a good start.

• Some days a little baby Pip just wants to be held, cuddled and comfort fed. I might not want Pip to nap on me every day but I know I will cherish those moments always.

• That I love being a mum even though I was scared my very non-maternal self wouldn’t.

• That you will miss your baby even when she’s just sleeping in a different room.

• But that the hour or so (yes she’s a short sleeper…we’re working on it) will be Uber productive and you need that break from baby to function properly too.

• That you will get angry when the cat meows when you’ve just put baby to sleep.

• That there is no bigger love than the one to your child.

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